Wednesday, February 04, 2009
To the guy that i have love so deeply before... this is the last post i will dedicate to you... based on the previous post... i have said that i will continue to love you till the day that i think it's time to give up... i think now it will be the time... after this lunar new year... i will completely give up on this past broken relationship... do you know how difficult it is to make this choice?? but you made me had this choice... i have saved all our previous msn conversations and each time i read back... it's hatred that i have towards you... u didn't even realise how much hurting words you have used on me... each time i read back... i will have tears in my eyes...
i have pleaded with you to patch like 3-4 times but you sounded so cold towards me... you even asked me not to bother because you did the same to your ex and you will do the same to me because you will stick to your principles... so don't cry over spilled milk when your ex was already with another guy... it is you who do not want back the relationship... and do not keep telling me in the past how your ex treated you because it is you who do not know how to cherish and love a person... and sticking to your stubborn principles will not get you far... and i really hate it when you always brushed me off by saying you do not want to patch because you do not want to do any explanation to your friends and colleagues... this is just one lame excuses to me... and also stop telling me that you want a relationship with no worries, no quarrels, no explanations needed and no need to keep accompanying the gf... you must be dreaming because you cannot find one...
i have also went to read her blog... and now i realised that last time you were already a selfish person... you keep telling me that i only think about myself... but didn't you realise that you are thinking of yourself too?? do you know that you love yourself more than me?? and you have always wanted people to listen to you and not you listening to others too.. now from her blog i realised that you have not changed a bit... i do not blame u because it's difficult to change one's character... just like me... i cannot change my character too... and most importantly.. we are both stubborn people... you have told me that our characters do not match at all... and i agreed on that now...
your post said that i have controlled you being with your friends... but please this is not the main problem when we broke up that day... so do not keep pouring out the past things... i have promised you that i will let you be with your friends and won't question you... but you didn't believe what i have said... do you know i am in a suituation that i have no choices at all?? if i were to promise you... you told me that i will not keep my promise... and if i were to keep quiet and choose not to say... you will say that i do not let you be with your friends... so do not blame me for all these because you do not believe what i have said and we really lack in communication...
and don't say that you still love me because i know you do not as you told me that your heart has died... and one thing i cannot accept is that you told me that i have asked you to meet me on christmas day is becuase i'm bored.... so do you think because i'm bored that's why i have asked you to come and find me after your first shift?? didn't you realise it's christmas and i wanted to be with you on that day even it's just for a short while... but in your eyes... u feel that i have nothing better to do but to demand you to meet me after your tiring first shift... if you feel this way then i have nothing to say
and from a friend's blog... she said that when a person used "we can still be friends" to hurt the ex-partner, shame on the person... so really shame on you because you have told me that you can still treat me as a friend... but both of us know this is impossible at this point of time... so stop telling me that we can be very good friends and i can be a friend that you can pour your sorrows to... and do not tell me you can celebrate my birthday with me as a normal friend... this is really impossible... you know that too... so sorry i really cannot treat you as a friend now... and this is the last time i will say sorry to you because i know you do not accept "sorry" this word... still remembered the time i slapped you and i said about 200 times sorry to you... did you accept?? no you did not... i even went to your house and find you but u do not bother... it is when i used the remote control to slam at your stomach and u gave me a punch in my face... then you realised you are the one sorry... you just cried and called me to forgive you and i did... but how come when i slapped you earlier back... 200 times of sorry was not enough?? so do you think that we are equal after i gave you a slap and you gave me a punch back.... and lastly stop calling me to recap the dates that we have quarrelled... i really cannot remember because i only try to remember the good times and i can easily forget those unpleasant memories because i love you... but how about you?? you chose to remember only the bad memories and if i cannot remember... you just keep telling me "suan le, if like this you also cannot remember, then there is no chance to be together"... why can't you remember the good times we had too?? i can bet that you do not remember any sweet memories that we have gone through because you have told me the bad memories have covered all up... if this is the case, i think i have wasted my 1 year of love on you and you do not deserve it at all...i am tearing now and i do not know it is because i am sad because i am giving up this relationship or i am thinking of those hurtful actions that you have done to me... anyway this is the last time i will tear because of you and i agreed with your ex... i will want you to find a girl that suits you the best... listen to you and will not oppose to your thinking... that is the kind of girl that you want and need... i am not suitable for you... so just like what your post said... give up is the only way that both parties can have their happiness... therefore i wish you happiness and that you will find your true love...
♥ the world will turn WILD.
12:00 AM
